Bucco fans, your Put Sabre Tips Right have all new nicknames for nearly every player on the team, including some for the older greats as well. This video (created by Nets FX), while sorta long and set to video game music from my old Macintosh Performa, is a good starting point if you're just trying to catch up.
Pact Stamp is on the DL.
In Lockjaws might (hopefully) get traded to the Dodgers.
Vineyard Rx should have made the All-Star team.
Do Each Alarm has ADD.
Bee Control Meter needs his number retired league-wide.
Mental Touch just made his first All-Star team. I shall use this as his official nickname from here on out.
Come up with your own anagrams here. Be sure to dominate any player not yet mentioned by this random-ass video.