Not this chick, obviously. Milfs in heat? Yikes.

We all remember back when Brian Jackson was going around pretending to be different Steelers to get in girls' pants. And while it was on a lesser scale, I made sure to shit on some annoying kid who impersonated Sidney Crosby in the worst way possible.

This story, ripped directly from Deadspin because I'm lazy and just don't care, tops 'em all, though. Someone is apparently impersonating the worst MLB athletes ever to sleep with porn stars.

Some dude started corresponding with porn star Demi Delia (the heaty MILF pictured above...you knew she was gonna be mentioned at some point), and used random baseball players' aliases to fool her into bed. His main disguise was former Yankee prospect and current Pirates bust Andy Phillips. And now Delia is PISSED.

Fake Phillips (FP, for future reference) met Delia over email, fooling her into thinking that FP was the real deal. They met and hooked up, under the presumption that Phillies OF Greg Dobbs, Yankees bust Carl Pavano and agent Jordan Kapler were all cool with it. And Jon Cena is involved somehow.

Turns out that FP might be impersonating all the mentioned individuals (aside from Delia, naturally), but Delia isn't ready for that to be the end of it. She's bringing charges against Phillips, who is by all accounts a fantastic family man who is deeply involved in his faith.

Peter Warrick (!) is mentioned, too, but you'll have to go to Deadspin to get the full story on FP, Delia and this tangled web of lies, deceit and sex. There's just too much for me to even try and mention. You think what I typed is pretty damn random, just wait til you get the rest of the backstory.

And just when you thought that Rinku and Dinesh would be the craziest story to come out of the Pirates' minor leagues this season.

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