If I had to start a team from scratch, and I only had the two players in this video to choose from...I'd probably end up picking Crosby. I mean, I would've taken him anyway, but then Sid just goes and dominates this kid right in his face. You got played, little one.

I'm totally confident that destroying a little kid's skills will be the experience Sid needs to finally push his game to the next level.

*UPDATE* Getting word through various emails/Facebooks/etc that the kid is Mario's son, Austin Lemieux. Your failure has let your father down, Austin :)

Day 2 of MATT COOKE WATCH...obviously.

The Post-Gazette's Ron Cook decided to channel his inner Bob Smizik to express his hate of pretty much everyone. Doesn't matter if you're a Carolina player/coach/supporter or a Penguins player/coach/supporter...Cook wants you to know that YOU are a hypocrite.

Smizik called every Pens fan who wanted to boo Marian Hossa a knucklehead. Because, you know, fans aren't supposed to get worked up about a player ditching the Pens for the team that beat them in the Stanley Cup Finals. Cook now wants you to know that defending Matt Cooke's hit on Erik Cole is way hypocritical, so you should stop doing that right now.

Some of his logic is FLAWLESS. There was one time back in the early 90s that Ulf Samuelsson hit someone in the leg. So God help you if you're calling for no punishment for Cooke. From Ronny:

"In the early 1990s when the Penguins were winning Stanley Cups, defenseman Ulf Samuelsson was a cult hero here. He also was an openly filthy player. "The referees have their line," he once said of hockey rules. "I try to go right up to it, but, occasionally, I step over it."

One of those times was during the '91 playoffs when Samuelsson put a highly questionable leg-on-leg lick on Boston forward Cam Neely, prompting Neely to say he had no respect for Samuelsson.

A good, clean, hard hockey play, Penguins fans called it.

Jack Lambert on skates, they called Samuelsson with great respect and admiration.

But if Neely had hit Ron Francis, Jaromir Jagr or -- heaven forbid -- Mario Lemieux like that ...

It is worth saying one more time:

Hypocrites, all."

NEELY NEVER HIT JAGR OR MARIO, SO QUIT IT WITH THE HYPOTHETICALS! I can't stand when people throw out hypotheticals to justify a point. Cook just drew up an imaginary scenario and told us exactly how we as fans would've reacted to it. Never mind that there'd have been some context as to how this fake hit would've taken place, but Ron just KNOWS the nature of Pittsburgh hockey fans.

Now, remember my logic from yesterday regarding Ovie/Gonchar as it relates to Cooke/Cole:

"And now it's up to the league. They set a shaky standard by not suspending a star player like Ovechkin during arguably the league's biggest playoff series in years. Now, they're left with either upholding their decision on Ovechkin by giving Cooke a pass, or suspending Matt and showing the fans that they have a gross double standard when it comes to protecting their superstars."

We're not absolving Cooke's hit on Cole. Noone is saying that Cooke has a clean record. But if the league (the real hypocrites) lets a star player off the hook and lowers the boom on some small-bit agitator in the very next series, then why don't the fans have the right to call foul?

I have no problem with Cook criticizing Carolina coach Paul Maurice, the NHL and even some of the players. But to rip on the hometown fans in the spirit of Smizik's "booing Hossa" article from last year is just despicable. What do these idiot writers want the fans to do...sit at the games with our hands under our butts while we politely golf clap and whisper compliments about the opposition? The fans are the ones packing the arena night in and night out, the fans are the ones buying up all the merch they can get their hands on...but none of that gives us the right to voice our opinions.

Until Ron Cook mans up and realizes that there's more hypocrisy in his circle of old, out-of-touch sportswriters berating fans for acting like, well, fans, then he has no room to criticize those of us that actually show passion towards the team.

There's a guy that wears an Ulf jersey to our Penguins bar up here in NYC...I guess I'll punch him in the face for you next time I see him, Ron. The nerve of that fan...

EPIC!

A) That miniature horse looks fake.

B) That lady's jacket does not. And she's all set up for a...

...Hey, baby.

Silverback is a lot more like John Madden than you'd think. [OFTOT]

Playing the Nationals is awesome. Even if you're the Pirates. [WHYGAVS?]

Roy Halladay is so good that he unblows saves. [Sports Rubbish]

Dr. J and Magic are amazing. [NESW Sports]

Skydiver falls 6,000 feet without a parachute and survives. [Total Pro Sports]

Warren Sapp would be a terrible coach. [Zoner Sports]

In Game 4 of the Eastern Conference semis against Washington, Pittsburgh defenseman Sergei Gonchar was knocked out of the game due to a reckless knee-on-knee hit by league golden boy Alex Ovechkin. Everyone at our Penguins bar immediately started clamoring for a suspension. I told 'em one wouldn't be coming, ya know, because the league needed Ovechkin in that series as much as possible.

So now the question remains...does the league need Matt Cooke in every game of the Eastern Conference Finals?

Last night, Cooke hit Carolina forward Erik Cole with what appears to be a similar knee-on-knee bump. The obvious difference is that Ovie took a run at Gonchar when Gonch didn't have the puck, while Cooke was looking to impede Cole as he was streaking to the slot, but I'm not gonna argue logistics.

I will be watching the league's decision closely, though.

After the hit that dropped Gonch, Cooke went on the record with his opinion on the hit. He knew that his style of play hadn't made him many friends at the league offices, but that shouldn't influence decisions on star players like Ovechkin. Cooke offered this about Ovie's hit:

"If I did what [Ovechkin] did, I wouldn't be on the ice."

Now I don't believe Cooke was just talking about getting ejected from the game...but more about if he'd see the ice in the next one. Again, the circumstances of Cooke's hit and Ovie's hit were completely different, so I'm taking the possibility of an ejection out of the equation.

In doing so, we have two guys who both hit an opposing player knee-to-knee. However, will Cooke's history precede him? He's a known agitator who has been suspended in the past, so I'm anxious to see if that works against him. Fans have already had a forum to absolve or hate on Cooke, so we know that there's a certain percentage of fans who will call Cooke's hit dirty based only on his past.

And now it's up to the league. They set a shaky standard by not suspending a star player like Ovechkin during arguably the league's biggest playoff series in years. Now, they're left with either upholding their decision on Ovechkin by giving Cooke a pass, or suspending Matt and showing the fans that they have a gross double standard when it comes to protecting their superstars.

Video of the Cooke hit is below. If Cooke is suspended, I'll be more than happy to share some choice words for the league.

Awww...little guy wants a kiss. And he picked a hot enough girl to test his mettle on. Y'know she's gonna get the obligatory...

...Hey, baby.

And boom goes the links:

I crashed a basketball conference finals preview to drop some hockey knowledge at my buddy Don's place. Check it. [With Malice]

PENGUINS WIN! [The Pensblog]

The "White House" is racist. [OFTOT]

The 5 scariest ice skate lacerations ever. Vom. [Total Pro Sports]

The Happy Youngster is a jerk. [Detroit 4 Lyfe]

NBA separated at birth. [Fansided]

So I re-published this old-school-Pensblog PSAMP pony prior to the pivotal Game 7 and we won. Plus, Penguins alliteration is perfectly pleasant.

The headline was This Miniature Horse Will Help The Penguins Win Tonight. And that he did. So what the hell did you think I was going to do before the start of the Eastern Conference Finals?

As long as the Pens keep winning, I'm more than happy to make this Penguins pony become the hockey version of Black and Golddust. And Black and Golddust took the Steelers to the Super Bowl, mind you. We might need a name for Penguins pony, though, but I'm all out of ideas.

Penguins pony is ready for the puck to drop. Are you?

Go Pens!

Caught this during one of the intermissions of yesterday's Wings/Blackhawks game. Sidney Crosby was interviewed while preparing for the first game of the Eastern Conference Finals.

Mike Milbury went off the cuff and decided to ask Sid something that he's never been asked in the countless number of even-keel interviews that Crosby has done. So he asked if Sid has a dark side, you know, if he's ever put a tack on a teacher's seat, had to stay after school...OR IF HE EVER BEAT HIS DOG!

It was nice to see a relaxed Sid caught in a moment a pure surprise. I mean, the guy never laughs like that on camera. So maybe this interview will set the precedent for the future...just pull questions outta left field in order to get Sid to give an uncanned answer.

"Sid, have you ever went Aces over Kings on the river of a hold 'em game?"

"Sid, do you think Letang is a handsome young chap?"

"Sid, do I have something on my face?"

"Sid, I'm deciding between Coco Puffs and Cocoa Pebbles...which one should I get?"

Big ups to the fantastic Wrap Around Curl for the vid.

Via Mr. Daulerio over the weekend.

Y'all know that I hate Twitter and all it stands for. However, when randomly obscure celebrities start name-dropping (and picture-dropping) current Steelers via the communication service, then you totally have my ears (and eyes, I guess).

MC Hammer twitted (tweeted? twittered? twisted?) during a Tiger Woods event over the weekend. Big deal, right? Well, not when it involves Steelers QB Big Ben:

"Watching No Doubt with Big Ben and my Son at Tiger Woods event !!"

Random, right? I had totally forgotten that No Doubt had reunited, or that MC Hammer still even existed. But if two-time Super Bowl champ Ben Roethlisberger is hanging out with that crowd, then they're alright in my book.

And honestly, you could totally turn Hammer's twit into a Mad Libs, and I'd probably be less shocked at the outcome. Really...just blank out No Doubt, Big Ben, Son and Tiger Woods.

"Watching The Traveling Wilburys with Gary Busey and my Poop at Salvation Army event !!"

Totally makes more sense. Even for Hammer.

Man, people really get into the whole "posing for pictures with your mini pony" thing. And there might be more guys than gals in this pic, but the lady gets a definite...

...Hey, baby.

That should just about do it for an explanation/caption for this picture. Onto the links:

An analysis of Chad Ford's ESPN Draft Lottery machine. [TWolves Blog]

Nationals fans help get the tarp on the field. [Sports Rubbish]

Might as well preview the ECF. [The Pensblog]

The Buccos scored 10 runs in one inning. [WHYGAVS?]

Carlton Haselrig won at MMA. [Mondesi's House]

Big Ben pimps big trucks. [Tomlin's Crib]

Via JanePitt of the once-great Burgh Blog, from someone named burckart on Twitter and Twitpic.

I totally think I had this commemorative box.

If you want a celebrity endorsing your hockey team going into the Eastern Conference Finals, it had better be someone as badass as Tony the Tiger.Or at the very least, Chester Cheetah or Dig 'Em the Sugar Smacks Frog. Those are all worthy celebrity endorsers. Because we're tired of the Staal vs. Staal or Bill Cowher-allegiance storylines already.

Still trying to decide if this is as cool/scary as my back-to-back Cups Coke can or the commemorative Hagen ice cream bucket.

And should we hoist the Cup this year, all props go directly to Tony the Tiger. So adjust your schedules accordingly.