I dare you to watch this video and not truly believe that someone spiked your drink or something.
There's some guy in full-on Steelers gear, speaking some crazy language, and it appears he's talking about another Steelers football team. Or fütbol club, I don't know. I think it's Austrian, and from what I can make out, I'm guessing that this dude is the head coach. But that's about it.
If you see HC Steelers under a guy's face, you're expecting to see Mike Tomlin. Not Alfred Whatshisface from Austria blabbering on about nothing probably.
Wanted to pass along these two great pictures. First up comes from my friend Heather, who is currently on the Dora the Explorer tour. No joke. She writes:
"all the dressing room doors in a theatre in OH had city names on them and of course I get stuck in the "detroit" dressing room, haha! So like a good pens fan, I doctored up the door to fix the situation a bit."
It's been a week and a half since we won the Cup, but there's still dedication to the cause.
Also, the inimitable Jim Shearer of Yinz Luv Da Guins glory passes along his latest piece of art to commemorate said Cup win. I kinda want a Fathead-sized version of this.
Trust is a funny thing on the Internet. You guys come here trusting that I'll give you something interesting at the very least. I trust in certain sources for inspiration, but technology can blur the line between truth and fiction.
Say I found a video online. Imagine it is the only video on a brand new profile on some video hosting website. Pretend that the file claims to be Pittsburgh Steelers RB Rashard Mendenhall absolutely cutting destroying a rug to Michael Jackson's Thriller? Would you choose to believe that Mendenhall is that agile based on no corroborating evidence other than a video's name and no facial closeups?
In this Internet-heavy age that we live in, I'll choose to believe that that video-uploader didn't just pick a random name out of a hat and attach it to some weird dance performance. From here on out, no matter what anybody says, that ISBeetlejuice in that video.
I wanna see those hops in camp, Rashard. That's the only way you're not getting made fun of for this.
His blog has been dormant, as he's moved onto Twitter and now Youtube, but you still get the amazing quality you'd expect if you used to read the blog. His latest venture is the amazing "I'm on a Boat" parody, entitled, "I Won the Cup."
NSFW language, so keep it turned down if you're at work. Lyrics are below:
Hook: I won the Cup I won the Cup Everybody look at me cause I won the Stanley Cup. I won the Cup
I won the Cup Take a good hard look at the mother f*****g Cup.
Crosby: I won the cup mother f****r take a look at me 87 on my sweater with a big old C I'm scoring mad goals, yeah f****r thats whats up. You cant stop me ho cause I won the F****N Cup!
Malkin: Take a picture trick. I won the cup b***h Im eating mom's Russian soup cause its DEE-LISH! I got my Ruslan And my Maxy Talby I'm learning English on the side As a f*****g hobby.
Crosby: I'm skatin up on offense Doing spins and s**t The fans are clapping Getting all the girlies all wet. But this aint 08 This is real as it gets I won the Cup mother f****r dont you EVER forget!
Malkin: I got the puck annnnnnd I'm skating fast annnnnd I just pull multiple goals out of my ass and. I'm the boss of the league, cashing checks from Shero If you're on the course than your sure not me-o
LET'S TAKE IT DOWN TO THE RIVER, AND PARTY ALL SUMMER!!!
Crosby: Fuck the Caps I won the Cup mother f****r! Fuck the Wings I won the Cup Mother f****r! Im 21 and living dreams mother f****r! I fill the cup with my seed mother f****r!
Malkin: Magnetogorsk if you could see me now First Russian on the Conn Smythe, wow Gonna read the names on the Cup somehow but probably not, CAUSE THERE'S A F*****G LOT OF EM!
Ray Shero: Yea, I never thought I'd win the Cup It's silver and heavy as f**k Lord Stanely, look at me. I never thought I'd see the day With Gary Bettman coming my way Believe me when I say YOU F****D UP HOSSA!
Videos like this will one day cause the Internet to implode upon itself. Yanni, the hero who caused back-to-back games against the Caps in the playoffs (both won by Pittsburgh), shows up to congratulate the Penguins' Stanley Cup Victory.
Yeah, that statement is 100% legit. It's just as confusing to type as it probably is to read, I can tell you that.
"1986, it must have been. Tony Pena’s last year with the Pirates. I woulda been 2. I remember someone telling me that Pena was up to bat at Three Rivers Stadium…either my dad or the announcer. I was sitting in the nosebleeds, but remember saying “He’s gonna hit a home run,” which he did, to the leftfield seats way below me. Pena’s always been one of my favorite players because of that."
Remember that Tony Pena only hit 63 homers as a Pirate. I saw one of his 30 career home runs at Three Rivers at a very early age.
If you think my first sports memory is better than everyone else's, vote for it at Steady Burn. Because I want my memories to have bragging rights.