Excuse me for not being up to date on the current Texas high school football beat. This happened at the end of March, but it's the first I've heard of it.

Steelers NT Casey Hampton recently had his high school jersey retired by the Ball High School Tors, his former team from the Galveston area. And when he was presented his framed commemorative jersey, the massive man almost dropped it. Obviously, he's not in shape for the 2009 season yet.

Video is provided. If Casey wasn't so huge, he might've been blown away by the wind. Casey served as both honored guest as well as paperweight when the tablecloth almost blew away. The man can multitask.

Wow, Cypress Gardens looks to be the best place ever. Not only for the mini horse, but for the two "Hey baby"-worthy chicks.

Nice costumes, I guess.

Buccos won! Above .500! [WHYGAVS?]

LBJ Nike commercial. [Paneech]

Lower-level hockey players keep coming up with sick shootout goals. [Total Pro Sports]

There's not much else you can say about Vin Diesel. Perfectly put. [The Pensblog]

Marshawn Lynch is suspended the first 3 games. [Buffalo News]

Just because you need to see it to believe it. Vijay Singh skips a ball across a pond for a hole-in-one. [Brahsome]

Remember when the Buccos were undefeated? Yeah, those good feelings lasted exactly one night.

All the positives of the comeback, late-inning win on opening day proved to be nothing more than a one-time affair. Turns out that Pirates fans were sarcastically optimistic after the 1-0 start to the season. And we were right. The Pirates turned in a stinker last night, losing 9-3 to the Cardinals team that has seemingly had our number throughout the LaRussa era. Here's some words of wisdom from my buddy Pat:

"On top of Snell's bad start, the Pirates only mustered five hits (just three after the first two batters of the game) and Andy LaRoche made another bad error (that's three in two games) that lead to two unearned runs. Donnie Veal then came in to relieve Snell and started his career with the reverse Jordan Schaefer by allowing a home run to Yadier Molina on the third pitch of his career. He then struck out two batters, walked the bases loaded, and struck Chris Duncan out looking. Is there such thing as a three true outcomes pitcher?

One night after wishing I was watching the Pirates instead of a basketball game, I wanted to turn the Pirates off in the sixth inning tonight. I have a bad feeling that there are going to be more of these games this year."

Now THERE'S the Pirates I know and love. I feel foolish for even thinking that change was imminent. That team we saw on opening night bears little resemblance to any Bucco team from the past 16 years, and their display of competence was a one-night fling.

So we're back where we're used to being, Pirates fans. Crushing losses after decent wins to kill any chance at momentum.

But hey, we're still at .500, amirite?

Is it just me, or is mini pony on the left smiling at the girl? And you might not see it at first, but focus on the cool white mini pony way in the background. He's the best.

Pens win! [The Pensblog]

ESPN's Jay Crawford has a low flow shower head. Seinfeld, anyone? [NESW Sports]

Best dunks of the NCAA tournament. [Intentional Foul]

Obama's finding a replacement for Tom Izzo. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

Final Four of the Best Sports Blog Name Tournament. [Zoner Sports]

Top 10 Offensive Linemen in the upcoming draft. You paying attention, Pittsburgh? [Bankroll Sports]

Pens win. Bet you didn't think it would take til game 80 to clinch a playoff spot. Oh well, we'll take it any way we can get it.

Look out, NHL.

Go Pens!

If my buds at The Pensblog keep supplying amazing pictures like this, then they should probably switch teams and start covering baseball year-round.

Can't see the subject? Look harder. I'm just surprised that the guy is in the stands and not with his twin on some motorcycle somewhere.

Go Cardinals and your morbidly obese fanbase!

Well now the Madden guys have really started screwing with my head.

This video is pretty cool in that announcers Chris Collinsworth and Tom Hammond pretty much gush about Ben Roethlisberger for a good 3 minutes. But then, you gotta remember that the reason they're endlessly complimenting certain players is because they're looking for a coverboy for the latest Madden 2010 video game. Oh jeez...

Unless you've lived in a cave (or next door to one, at least), you know all about the supposed Madden Curse. Everyone who has been featured on the game's cover since they took Madden's fat face off of it has been plagued with some sort of on or off field predicament. From the late 80s through 1998, Madden was the only one on the cover. Then, 1999 brought Garrison Hearst to the front of the game, and each successive cover athlete has been haunted by injuries or poor play after appearing on the game.

Ben Roethlisberger would seem to be in a different category, though. As a premier quarterback coming off his second Super Bowl win, there's no reason to expect a drop in performance. But still, that injury threat is very real with a guy like Ben. Plus, Ben's worst season as a pro came directly after the Super Bowl XL win, when he went through a life-altering motorcycle crash, appendectomy and several concussions.

Last year's coverboy, Brett Favre, led the league in interceptions. That's a scary idea when it comes to Ben as a possible Madden cover athlete.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that Ben deserves all the praise and adulation in the world...just not on the Madden cover, though. Maybe NFL Blitz needs Ben like they needed Kordell Stewart back in the day.

Ok, so this looks like a Magic: The Gathering card or something. Mini horse would destroy Shivan Dragon.

The all-NL Central team. I see no Pirates... [Zoner Sports]

My buds at Gunaxin can only do opening day in one way. [Gunaxin]

The Buccos won, so I'll just direct you to Pat's place. [WHYGAVS?]

Masters preview. [Paneech]

Bailing out the Blazers' bandwagon plan. [Bust A Bucket]

Bias kept a deserving HS basketball coach out of the HOF. [Hugging Harold Reynolds]

It's no big mystery that the Pirates get the least of my writing attention at PSAMP. Take the past 16 years of Bucco ball and couple that with a Super Bowl champion football team and a Cup Finals-worthy hockey team, and you can guess where most of the blogging effort goes.

But baseball as a whole has suffered recently, thanks to the steroid cloud. Not gonna lie, we're pretty sick of hearing which superstar did which supersteroid. Much of baseball's legitimacy has been turned into a joke by prick athletes who tried to cheat the system, but it's even more of a joke when people feel compelled to create a flash game about the epidemic.

Enter Baseball Juiced, a game I happened to just stumble across. In it, you take control of a player and decide whether to hit the gym or shoot up some 'roids. I've included the game below so you can play, too. Fun!

Your player options are:

A-Fraud (Rodriguez)

Marky McWeird (McGwire)

Josie Conswaco (Conseco)

Jasen Gambini (Giambi)

Berry Bombs (Bonds)

Slugger Slimeberry (?)

Remember when these guys were on top of the world (except Slimeberry...still don't know who that is)? Berry Bombs will always have a spot in my heart from his time in Pittsburgh, but it's amazing to see how comical these fools have become. They made a computer game about your idiocy, ya 'roid-heads!

Anyway, pick a guy, choose to do steroids or lift weights, then try to hit homeruns. Or something. I think they keep you out of the Hall of Fame if you do 'roids.

My, what you've become, baseball.

We've discussed the fanaticism of Pittsburgh fans at great length here at PSAMP. Since I'm a fellow crazed fan, I can't justify passing judgment on others.

However, you know it's getting to be a little much when babies are showing you just how ridiculous you look when you watch a football game. Take, for example, the above video of a toddler (infant? tyke? rugrat?) mimicking his father's Steelers gameday emotions. And now is about the time that I'm glad that I don't have a kid.

So the father screams into his hat when the Steelers play...big deal. Well if the father is anything like me or any other typical Steelers fan, then there's more expressions and emotions that the kid has yet to pick up on. And it's probably in the best interest of the kid to stay ignorant to these more vulgar outbursts until he's just a bit older.

I know that when things aren't going so well with the team, I'm throwing my Terrible Towel at the television, yelling obscenities like some hard of hearing person really wants to hear them and just flat-out getting annoyed at any insignificant thing.

But maybe the father of this baby learned moderation when he had the kid. I should try to borrow this kid next season to attempt to control my anger.